The Adventures of Kaibaman
by ShaduofTexitar
Summary: Presenting the adventures of Kaibaman! Have you ever wondered who keeps the streets of Domino safe from rabid fan girls, animatronic Blue Eyes, and the evil Mascot of Chuck E. Cheese's? Now you can find out! Watch as Kaibaman saves the day, sort of.
1. I am Kaibaman!

Shadu: Okay, this will be my first comedy/parody story, but not my first attempt. My other attempts were pretty bad, but I think I can make this one work. So, here goes.

It was a normal day in the Kaiba Mansion. The maids were cleaning, the birds were singing, outside, the cooks were cooking, Mokuba was playing video games, and Kaiba…

Mokuba perked up. He thought he had heard a loud crashing noise from upstairs. Mokuba paused his game and went upstairs to investigate.

"Behold!" Kaiba's voice bellowed out proudly. "I am the glorious, Kaibaman!"

Mokuba looked in the door to his brother's room, and nearly slapped himself.

Kaiba was standing on the bed, his chest puffed out, dressed in his Kaibaman outfit (A/N: Think of the card Kaibaman without the long orange hair).

"Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba demanded, bursting the rest of the way through the door.

"I know not of this Seto you speak for I am, Kaibaman!" Kaiba yelled out in a superheroish way. "Faster than a speeding bullet-"

"Seto, that's taken," Mokuba pointed out bluntly and unamused.

"Oh, right," Seto sheepishly agreed, his heroic demenor faultering a little and then he started again. "Let those who worship-"

"That's the Green Lantern," Mokuba cut in.

"Oh, yeah, uh, have no fear-"

"Underdog."

"Uh, spoon?"

"The Tick."

"Well, whatever you say, I am still Kaibaman, protecting all of mankind from the evils of, evil."

Mokuba looked at his brother sternly. "Have you taken your medicine today Seto?"

"What medicine?" Kaiba returned to his full heroicness. "Kaibaman needs no medicine!"

"You didn't take it, did you?" Mokuba repeated.

"Maybe."

"Seto, come with me, you're going to take your medicine," Mokuba began to advance on Kaiba.

"Kaibaman cannot be stopped by the likes of you," Kaiba puffed out his chest.

Kaiba leaped off the bed and flew for the window. Mokuba tried to stop him, but it was too late. Kaiba opened the window and struck a pose.

"Kaibaman have buisness to do, until next time evil Pill Boy!" Kaiba bellowed and jumped out the window in a super-heroish manner, only to find that he could not fly.

"Holy cheese!" Kaiba exclaimed in sudden realization. "I cannot fly. No matter. I'm the main character in this and therefore cannot be killed."

Mokuba watched as Kaiba hit the ground with a dull thud. Shaking his head, Mokuba went down the stairs and out to where Kaiba laid on the ground. The "great" Kaibaman wasn't looking so "great" anymore.

Shadu: So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Whatever your opinion, please tell me. If you have anything you'd like to see Kaibaman face (such as the animatronic Blue Eyes at Kaibaland, or the rabid dog, or the vacum) please tell me. I'd be happy to put it in a chapter for you.


	2. Kaibaman's Superpowers!

Shadu: Okay. We are back. And I would like to acknowledge that, while I am writing this, I didn't come up with the idea entirely on my own. I had help from a friend, and a strange conversation.

Review answers:

Phoenix Hunter: It's just getting started.

Nachzes Black-Rider: I like that reaction.

Chi no namida: It's coming.

Paladin Dragoon: I'll see what I can do, no promises though.

Elfie-chan: Oh, I'm sorry you have to go back to Driver's Ed. hugs Hope that helps too.

MOG: Honestly, I have that game, and I haven't gotten that far…but anyways, I'm continuing so I don't have to face the spork.

Mrs. Tea Gardner: Glad you liked it, and I'll see what I can do about the other request.

Bukora's girl: Glad you know what it looks like. Don't tell me what happens in the game, I want to find out on my own.

LeDiva: Glad it's so good. I've never written a story like this before. I would try to describe the suit, but it's very difficult. I'll see what I can do about finding you a picture or something.

Nachzes Black-Rider: Didn't you already review? Not that I'm complaining…

Meowzy-chan: Did you mean the Pillsbury Doughboy?

KeiKitsune: Well, think of this as his hikari side. I know it's OOC, but that's what makes it funny.

Kiwigrl89: Oh trust me, there's many more chapters in the wings.

Ryua Malfoy: Well, I didn't come up with the initial idea, but I'm writing it on my own. Yes, he will face a vacuum, but not right away. And I'm thinking about putting one of the yamis in, just haven't decided which one yet.

Dgdg: snickers I will have to do that.

Willowwind Adurois: Sorry about the wait. I didn't know where I wanted to go…;

Evil meg: Bizarre request, but I'll figure out something.

Aisha-chan: twitch, twitch Well, that's an interesting idea. I've never heard that one before. I'll see if I can work it out without creeping myself out in the process.

Star light: Joey huh? Maybe Dogman?

Ish: I should.

Elisa: That's a good reaction. Keep laughing.

Shadu: There will be some time lapse between chapters, incase anyone's wondering or cares. But I'm not going to address how much time is between them. That would just slow down the story a little I think.

Mokuba walked into the kitchen with a yawn. It was Saturday and he had slept in real late. Of course, he had stayed up real late the previous night talking to his internet buddies online. He told himself that he really had to stop doing that. He was turning into Seto. He looked up to see Kaiba staring at raw, uncooked bacon in front of him. Or rather, Mokuba looked up to see Kaibaman staring at raw, uncooked bacon in front of him. Mokuba quickly amended that he did not want to turn into Seto.

"Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba asked, running to Kaiba's side, completely awake now.

"Hush, Kaibaman must have concentration!" Kaiba scolded.

"For what?"

"I am practicing my heat vision! I must have absolute concentration for it to work. Now leave Evil Pill Boy!"

"But Seto, you don't have heat vision. Only Superman does."

"Wrong you evil scum! I will cook this bacon with my heat vision."

Mokuba rolled his eyes and walked over to the refrigerator. Obviously Seto hadn't taken his medicine today, and wasn't going to. Last time Mokuba had tried to get Seto to take his medicine, Kaiba had jumped out the window. Mokuba didn't want a repeat of that.

"It's not cooking…" Kaiba grunted, giving the bacon the evil eye. "Must…concentrate…harder…"

Mokuba took out milk and poured it over some cereal in a bowl. Taking one last look at Kaiba, who was still trying to cook the bacon, Mokuba sighed and went upstairs to his room. As much as Mokuba loved his brother, he wasn't going to eat with Kaibaman.

When Mokuba took his bowl down to the kitchen, he was surprised to discover that Kaiba was no longer at the kitchen table trying to cook bacon. Mokuba was a little relieved, and a little scared. Relieved that Seto had given up heat vision and scared of what he might be trying next.

"Tina, do you know where Seto is?" Mokuba asked the maid cleaning the table.

"Upstairs somewhere I think," Tina responded.

"Thank you. Tell everyone else, including the limo drivers, do not let Seto out of the house today, alright?"

"Okay, but why?"

"I'm afraid of the adverse effect Kaibaman could have on the society," Mokuba explained as he sprinted up the stairs.

Mokuba began to travel down the hallway towards Kaiba's office when he saw Kaiba pressed against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Seto, what are you doing?" Mokuba asked, approaching Seto.

"Ha, now you can't see me," Kaiba smirked in a Kaibamanish manner.

"Huh?"

Cupping his hand over his mouth, Kaiba said in an unusually deep voice, "Who knows what evils lurk in the hearts of men? Kaibaman knows," and then Kaiba tried an evil laugh. "Thanks to my mental prowess, I have clouded your mind and now you can't-"

"Seto, that's the Shadow."

Before Kaiba could respond, a maid walked by, seemingly unaware of the scene in front of her. Mokuba went to one side of the hall and Kaiba stayed on his side. She just walked along as though she couldn't see Kaiba in his mania. Either that, or she was freaked out and just didn't want to admit it.

Kaiba stared hard at her, almost as though he was trying to look right through her. His face tensed in concentration, and Mokuba guessed he was trying another one of his "super powers".

When the maid had passed the two boys, Mokuba asked Kaiba, who was still staring at the maid, "What are you doing now?"

"I'm…trying…to…use…my…x-ray vision," Kaiba grunted out in concentration. "But it's not working. Something…must be…blocking it."

"Seto, you don't have x-ray vision," Mokuba told him bluntly. "Only Superman does."

"You're wrong! Kaibaman is the supreme…uh…super person! I will not be taken down by the likes of you Evil Pill Boy!" then Kaiba's eyes widened. "You, you're the one who is blocking my super powers! You are evil and vile! I must get away from you before you steal my powers!"

And with that, Kaiba took an edge of his cape, flung it behind him, and dashed down the stairs with speed that Mokuba wasn't aware Kaiba possessed. Mokuba shook his head. Hopefully Kaiba wasn't going to do something stupid.

The afternoon was pretty quiet, and that worried Mokuba. He hadn't heard a single thing from Kaiba. That usually meant he was getting into trouble.

Mokuba was in his room, playing video games. He perked up. Had he heard something? It had sounded like a splash of water. But how?

Mokuba rose up and went to the window. He nearly did a double take. Kaiba was out at the pool on the diving board in his Kaibaman suit, and he was running on the diving board only to fall right into the water. Then, Kaiba would get out and do it again.

Mokuba sighed. Well, at least he had found Kaiba.

Mokuba raced outside to the pool and shouted at Kaiba, "Seto, what in blue blazes do you think you're doing?"

Kaiba hit the water, and splashed some droplets on Mokuba. When Kaiba resurfaced, his face darkened.

"Not you again Evil Pill Boy!" Kaiba bellowed. "You're behind this."

"Behind what?" Mokuba asked as Kaiba crawled out of the pool, dripping wet from head to toe.

"Why you know! I, the great Kaibaman, have the power to run fast enough to run across the water without falling in. And yet, I cannot do it now. You have blocked yet another of my powers! Curse you Evil Pill Boy!"

"Seto, only the Flash can run fast enough to do that!"

"Pah! I will hear no more Evil Pill Boy! You have foiled me for the last time! I must get away from you!"

Kaiba reared back and took off towards the house, heading straight for a wall.

"Seto, you can't go through walls, only-" Mokuba started, but stopped when Kaiba slammed into the wall, "the Flash can do that too."

Shadu: Yes, that's the end. Yes, I'm going to do the vacuum, but you all are just going to have to wait. I'm not doing it right away. I'll tell you what, I'll do it in five chapters. Five chapters and I promise I'll sic the vacuum on Kaibaman. But until then, you're going to have to review if you want to see that. And I'm going to need some other suggestions too. Any superheroes you want to make fun of that I haven't thought of?


End file.
